It was amazing. I thought I was going there (woman's rehab to speak) for them until I began to speak. This oppurtunity was really a God given gift to me. When I spoke I really listened to what I was saying, like a mirror in front of me instead of woman. It
helped me see how really far I have come and that not all things in my life are bad. To some level I am really doing okay. At least for today. It left me feeling hopeful and a renewed sense of self....I ROCKED hee hee...Thanks also to "Beautiful Spirit" I heart you "S" and thanks for helping me to feel special, important, a part of, and confident.
~Sarah
 
I am feeling super nervous. Today I have been asked to be a speaker at a womans rehab to tell my story and my group therapist "Beautiful Spirit" has picked me to do this. She is letting me do it, Sarah. She has insisted that it is me. There has got to be a method to her madness lol

I am Sarah, a part of the original kido bunch but not the original and she still choose me. She thinks this will help instill some hope in me that I am an important part of the system and deserve some air time too. She is too cool. I love her to pieces.

Can't wait to see her but so can wait on speaking lol The tough part is the question and answer period aferwards. Please help me to stay present and to the inners, thanks for this moment in time, to be out, to be free, to be heard, to just simple be me. ~Sarah
 

 
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I just want to be loved.
 
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A broken mirror,
a bleeding fist,
a silver
blade against a wrist
,
tears falling down to un-kissed
lips
...
ignore her && she won't exist...
she's not
the kind of girl you'll come to miss
 
 
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Last time I will try that shit out!!!
 

Can't Handle The Hurt...

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 “My heart aches tonight,
the pain is more then I can cope with.
Promises about to be broken…
(*Whispers into the night)
I’m Sorry…” ~Sarah

 
When people ask me "how can you believe in God after all that has happened to you?" I reply, how could I not. I don't believe God doesn't exist because of what happen as a child. Rather I BELIEVE GOD is there because I survived!
 
I am hurting so bad right now!
I can’t take this pain!
I just wanna SCREAMMMMMMMM!!!!
But it is stuck inside.

OUCH!! OUCH!! OUCH!!
To breath I need to cut...
I am so sorry, I am, even if you don't believe me...
~
Sarah
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(Insert therapists name here),


You didn’t listen!!! They didn’t listen!!! No one is listening!!!


Result: I am doing AMAZING! WONDERFUL! and nothing less…From now on everyone is gonna hear how great things really are. My life is perfect, full of sunshine and roses and cute little puppies. I couldn’t have asked for a better life! I am full of smiles, hope, faith and dreams! With so many smiles, 


 P.S. I have never been a good liar!

Sarah

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~Yup, I said it! Deal with it! I will speak up...